Waiting......

I am waiting, waiting for life to breath in my ear and tell me the good news......
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Tiredness flowing in the cold Vancouver......

As you can see how tired I am, traveling working like crazy, woke up at 4am this morning to work in the once again cold, not Albuquerque anymore but Vancouver, it was sunny then the harsh snow came on Saterday noon, I waited for a cab for 1 hour and half and never came, then everything was delayed, nails, hair, massage then learning the script for my new charector, well for me those things become work and take a lot of time to walk through one by one, they were linning up like the army soldier. Right now I am sitting on set on lunch break, wordring when its goingn to be finished? My life has been hard for me, moody and unpredictble, why am I so tired and always in the cold filming?

Maybe I need a nap? yes, I will write you in a littler while when I Am in a good fresh mood with a bright smile......
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Sorry haven't posted for a while

Things happen in life either you liked it or now, like the snow touched on the ground so sudenlly with a harsh sound so loud, wish I knew how to deal with it before life acts. But I don't.

Will catch up with you very soon......

Smile to you my friend.
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Morning touch......

Touch the soft light, like your gentle soul from above, touches my face, my shoulder, my heart, my spirit, and my view of life and the world around me......

I am lucky to be touched and loved by you.

Beautiful life, as each day wakes me, always surprised by the gift of nature, by the gift of you......

Pure light......
Pure delight......
Pure happiness......
Pure smile......

I am watching you just as you are watching me, with a pure heart reflects in the gentle blue and white......


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Always Remember the magic in her eyes.....

This is Samantha, this is how she seduced me, in the red then blue, tender...... butterflies lights blurred me once again......

This is how I lost myself, this is how I lost time and drunk in her, this is how she switched my world in every cold early morning, this is it...... This is what I I gave to her, from my soul, this is how and why we connected, fire sparks, this is where lips touched, this is life, this is romance, this is woman and man's obsession , this is love sex and drug, this is where it all started with a poisoned touch in the eyes......

Ocean opened so blue......

Magic.....

With in the frame, without the limit......


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Light a fire in you.....

This is just me in the morning half way trying to step into Samantha's magic, she is ready to light a fire in the world and in you, so hot that I feel her energe is burning me right now. Red is passion blood poison fire and love, with death or life, she walks on the red clouds like an fire angel ready to seduce......

Hot red day for you too!
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6:22 am

This is the time I took the picture on set this morning in the desert out side of the " Love Ranch" as you can see the sign, its a magic moment of the early morning, the light the feeling the fresh air and the tender color, the quiet shadow painted on the wall, at that hour that moment just when you woke up from your warm blanket with your eyes half closed and went to pee, then here comes, the smiling face of the sun from the far away sky......

pink delicate and so tender......


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8:30am

Just finished shooting right now, so tired, it was so cold the desert's night, as if winter was angry with the bright hot sunlight during the day and wanted to revenge?



I watched how the beautiful warm sun went home and the moon left home at the same time..... Sky changed color, desert changed its temperature...... lights, life, romance for a few hours of happiness lived in front of me , then it all went away so sudden left only the darkness stands just 2 house away watching me with a cold eye, shooting dances on our feet out side, but inside those litte rooms people just sleeping on the floor in the hall way or anywhere if there were a heater......



Closed my eyes, took my shoes off, turning left and right, fighting with the uncomfortable little cast chair on set waiting, and just when I about to start a dream, then there was the director calling me again, it was a long night till finally the sun had its rest and showed its warm face again.



Day lights blind every cornor of the desert, wind made a left turn as I walked into my hotel with my eyes closed, how am I going to sleep now? Will I wake up early or just sleep whole day? If so how can I sleep again this evening? Or, I just count the stars through my 17th floor window?



I remember when I was shooting "Shanghai baby" in Shanghai, I lived on the 38th floor in the hotel right above the Huang Pu river, many times when my film took my time and reality away, I always stood there nose touched the big window and wondering: what if one evening or early morning I just jump through my 38th floor window to the traffic jammed busy river? will it take me to where I supposed to go?



Falling sleep now, don't really know what am I writing, maybe I will write it all over again when I awake?



Good Saturday to you!


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I want to take her out......

Its dark out in the desert, wind knocked out all the living things with out root, flying in the air the lost life, but maybe the wind just take them to their homes where they belong, wonder in the soul of the nature, wonder in the cold in the darkness night......


When all the lights are on, the desert become a colored sea, boats flouting like the tiny little cars rushed in the middle of the big loud wind, rushed through......

So vast the open desert......so vast the open colored sea......

" I want to take her out, I want to take her out of her red fur coat, and I want to get her to the dance floor swept her feet off and tangle her and drunk her in the 2000 years fine red wine in my arms......" The wind shout out loud!

Yes! Take me! Rescuer me from the desert......


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for my beloved Samantha......

I got up early again for my be loved Samantha, already log ago in my trailer waiting, waiting for here name to be called, so early And so tired, yesterday I felt I was not here, can not keep my eyes open, but some magic power lifted me up and pushed me for the Whole day of filming, it was Samantha? I don't like to get up so early when the whole world is still in deep dream of the night, hope today will be easier, I fell sleep in the chair while getting my hair done.



Still cold in Albuquerque and I dreamed of the blue ocean and the white sand and the smelly ocean air......

Wish you and myself a lovely day.

V V, please leave your e-mail so I can contact you for the "Ordinary miracles" thank you!

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Soft Sunday.....

One day delay, because my blackberry was not working yesterday on Sunday, well it was Sunday, now I know why. But this is what i wrote yesterday:



I did not make it to Las Vegas, well it was not meant to be, I finished shooting at 8PM, but my flight leaves at 8:30PM, I tried So hard and every one in the hair and make up room tried their best to help me to get out of the make up and hair, but still the flight dose not really care, it takes off slowly but surely and it was already in the air passing me by with a smile while I was in the war trying my best, my car came by waited for me from 6:30PM on, well only 20 minutes late, it really was a war so funny, sometimes we have all the time in the world to waste, but other times, time just can be so crucial, well i think this is life, you try your best but fate will play a big role in the end to decide for you just like that with no effort but a big smile.



Want to have a massage but hotel called for me and there was no open space left on Saturday, but I was so tired and really needed to be relaxed, then I called on Sunday myself and you know what, I got an open space, the spa called La Bella in Albuquerque, the girls working there were so nice, they brought me a bottle of champagne and a plate of strawberry, I got the best male masseuse there, he was so good, deep tissue, I enjoyed the afternoon lost in massage and the hot steam room and the sexy burning jacuzzi like a child, here you go in the picture, the hot water touches me, and the champagne gently dance inside of me while my lips kiss the fresh strawberry......



This is my Sunday`s Life, beautiful and simple.



When I closed my eyes, and closed every where around me, just learned that its so important to forget the world and yourself once in every 7 days in the weekend, nothing exists at a long moment while I was drunk in the hot steaming water, but then after a quiet 100 years, slowly, music...... from the moonlight far away gently traveling to earth with my grand mother's sweet smile......

Tenderness......



I have to get up at 3:30am on Monday when the sun and moon both are still sleeping, the thought came to me suddenly when Sunday ends.


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A beautiful new day to you!

It is a new day and new life and a new Friday for me and for every one, I am excited for the weekend to come so that I can really enjoy life in the fresh air and really lost in it, its been hard the last few weeks for me lost in storm, but today again the clear sun is up so high yet so close sitting there quietly in the blue sky singing a soft love song...... wonder elsewhere if the sun is out too and singing?



I like Albuquerque, because of the open land, while I was in the car to set early this morning, I can see so far away to the other side of the mountain, wild animals were running so free, the image just lighted my mood, here we are given another beautiful day to enjoy and to live and to give love.



A friend invited me to Las Vegas tonight, I really want to go and to celebrate and dance, the last flight leaves at 8:30PM, well hope I will make it to have some fun time. But with the shooting you never know, but either way its OK.

For right now I am just enjoying been Samantha in her world, its such a joy and fun and delight to be her and lost in her, even if she takes me to another sun rise and another sunset, I will just be fine, because right now she is the closest person that near me and give me joy and love. This is the magic of making movie, you lost in another life another world dreaming with the new and exciting unknown adventures every moment, Its like you swim or fly, just when you blink you eyes, there comes a wonderful surprise.



I am lucky to be with her and together to make magic......


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Theft dismissed! I am innocent! Good news from the Court!

Theft dismissed and I am innocent!Yes!Yes!Yes!

I plead guilty today in court to " DISTURBING THE PEACE "

Theft dismissed! yes! This is it! All the darkness went away, the sunlight really come back to me with a huge smile right now dance in my trailer Yes! Yes! Yes!

I told you truth is going to be told and I am innocent!!!

I will drink a sexy red wine tonight after my filming and celebrate! I am smiling for real!

Thank all of you for your support and believe!

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Showing you the trailer and my butterfly......

I know Its late, but it was really a crazy day for me, noises coming from the unknown space drove me insane! So many things happend to me at the same time, it just reminded me that my charector Thamantha Smoke's life is so much more pure and fun, all she has to do is just seduce, actrully she dose not even have to seduce, all she has to do is just simply be there and breath, then magic rises in the air without even one person realize, then quietly the whole Love Ranch falls under her feet......



I love been her and drunk in her world, simple and pure, like the gentle breath lead and fallowing you, she dances her life like a beautiful butterfly changing color in a dream every day. She tells me:
" I am here for sex,
I am here for man,
I am here for joy,
I am here for the beauty of making love,
I am here to make and to give magic......"


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Iife goes on like the dance floor......

I am speechless, its sad silly and stupid all the news runs out like the mad river has just suddenly broken from the earth, ghosts put their make up on and walked into the mad city and knocked each of your closed door, just only wish if you knew.



Maybe one day I will write a script about it, yes, just realized, this is how jokes and comedy find their life and laughter, I want to laugh so bad, but its just hard when you are still deep down on the ground knocked out by the sudden storm, but Is there any more funny things to laugh at and something can really make people actually go crazy and have joy and dance their nose off and jump out of their 36 floor window and dive into the ocean of the busy exciting city life? Glad made you talk laugh and find joy, just hope there are till some smart people out there can simply see through their lens.



The world out there is dangerous sometimes, just watch your shoes and don't get wet when you walk near the white sand. Rain drops, storms, fire, maybe just next to your, watch out my friends!



Still what I want to say is that life goes on no matter what, this is the beauty about the moving sunlight and time, they always take us to a new day and a new life, and bath us with the morning fresh air, as if the earth and our heart has never been touched and walked before.



Gentle spirits like the soft clouds falling.......



I was sleepless last night and had to get up 6am to work, but just learned that I am lucky and still woke up by the bright sunlight, here I am working again and shooting a fantastic movie with the artists that I dreamed of working with.



Life goes on like the romantic dance floor..... This time no shoes but with music......



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Iife goes on like the dance floor......

I am speachless, its sad silly and stupid all the news runs out like the mad river has just suddenly broken from the earth, ghosts put their make up on and walked into the mad city and knocked each of your closed door, just only wish if you knew.



Maybe one day I will write a script about it, yes, just realized, this is how jokes and comedy find their life and laughter, I want to laugh so bad, but its just hard when you are still deep down on the ground knocked out by the sudden storm, but Is there any more funny things to laugh at and something can realy make people actrully go crazy and have joy and dance their nose off and jump out of their 36 floor window and dive into the ocean of the busy excting city life? Glad made you talk laugh and find joy, just hope there are till some smart people out there can simply see through their lense.



The world out there is dangerious sometimes, just watch your shoes and don't get wet when you walk near the white sand. Rain drops, storms, fire, maybe just next to your, watch out my friends!



Still what I want to say is that life gose on no matter what, this is the beauty about the moving sunlight and time, they always take us to a new day and a new life, and bath us with the morning fresh air, as if the earth and our heart has never been touched and walked before.



Gentle spirits like the soft clouds falling.......



I was sleepless last night and had to get up 6am to work, but just learned that I am lucky and still woke up by the bright sunlight, here I am working again and shooting a fantastic movie with the artists that I dreamed of working with.



Life gose on like the romantic dance floor..... This time no shoes but with music......



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Good news

I just got the good news and I am relieved that the prosecutor has decided not to file misdemeanor charges against me and to treat this matter as an infraction. What happened was an innocent mistake on my part and I am confident that the truth will be told since I never had any intention of taking items without paying for them.

I appreciate the support of the public and especially my friends and my fans.


Thank you!


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Smoke gets in my eyes

I am not smoking, but smoke gets in my eyes......

"Ask me how I knew my true love was true, I of cause reply something here inside can not be deny......"


I used to sing this song everyday all the time, I thought it was one of the most beautiful songs that I have learned and liked.


So tired and bored, but somehow a little sleepless, maybe smoke is still wet my eyes?
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Sunset melody......

Beauty the sunset, its a still yet a moving emotional painting, the flag, the trees and the invisible wind, sits and waves in front, in front of my breathless heart, covered, covered the entire world, so much feelings, so much unspoken sweet sadness, so much beauty. I am sad with tears in my eyes can not stop, why am I such an emotional person and feels so much? it seemed like every movement the earth make, it strikes me like an unexpected storm, as it is what I am feeling right now......

He came to visit me unexpectedly like the harsh bright but sweet afternoon sun naked lying on the blue sky, almost blind me, took my breath away...... we got up in the late afternoon after my night shooting, felt I am walking on air and jumped into the red sea of the soft sunset clouds...... Evening unfolded us like an opened bottle of alcohol, we watched the UFC in a local club called "up town", then we played poker......sweet smoke colored my smile and his, it was exciting the fight, human animal went mad, I ate so much and the alcohol red my Body and my vision. Strange the feeling that I have, I was locked here in Albuquerque, just when I looked around and knowing every corner in town and giving up and trying to find the world else where inside me, then there comes the surprise. Then the sweet surprise will fly away just as the precious short Sunday will end now. This is life, just like the warm sunset, it touches and hurts you every time you lost in it. At this very moment I am writing, the sun breaks the snow and strikes me suddenly in my wet eyes, so bright, it lift my spirit, but I know another sunset just in the left Conor hiding, waiting for his flight to take off with a loud sound.

Where did I get this soul? Feeling every rain drop touches the leaves or touches a little boy's palm just when he lost his sight of his mother for one second.

Dusts like the stars dancing in a slow motion shines the sunlight.

Nature repeat its melody, I said good bye watched he and his car took the snow flower away..... Snow, sunset, wind, brightness, darkness, confused my counting steps of walking......

Sunset, hope its not coming tonight, I don't want to hear the music and switch off my world.

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5:37am

It is 5:37am into the 1st day of March, spring is just like a sexy girl waking up from its dream at this very moment in the darkness, wind tired in the coldness of the air dancing, trying to find home, like All of us still lost on set in the 70th back in time of the "Love Ranch", lights, mini skirts, laughter, poisoned red wine, tangled with sex smoke its perfume...... a kiss...... a touch ...... Seduction with the soft music can not be heard......

love has no time, love breathing its joy through day and night, through life, through time, through air, through space, through our gentle heart......

I am lucky to be awake, dancing the wind in the darkness to find the warmth of home for love...... Walking again from the set to my trailer, darkness, darkness around me like a winter blanket pure......

Pure darkness is so beautiful, with out it we can never see the stars and the beautiful smiling moon......

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