Live to love, love to live.......
I have just posted a writing on my Chinese Blog on Sina.com in Cinese, I haven't been there for a while, but hope you can read it, funny sometimes I am thinking, its just sound I mean language, how come has a different meaning and people understand each other though sound and add meaning to it.
I miss my mother so much, so much so, I stayed up till almost 3am in the ghost's morning she is still not answering her phone and I was out and in my dreams and decided to try for the very last time:
"Who is this?" a man answered the phone finally on the other side of the ocean so far away.
"Its me uncle Liu, its Bailing,how are you? where is my mother? I have been trying for the last 8hours, no body at home and no one answers her cell phone."
" Oh bailing, where are you? Your mom is out dancing, oh no, she went to a friend's house play Ma Jiang."
Uncle Liu is still has his heavy accent from somewhere in China I don't really know.
"When will my mother home?"
"Maybe 6pm or don't really know, you know your mom." uncle Liu laughs.
"I am falling a sleep, will you please do me a faver, could you please please take my mom out for dinner tonight for me to surprise her?"
"Why? surprise her? oh, its mother's day Bailing when are you come home? we miss you."
"I miss you too uncle Liu, I will come back soon, yes, I will take you out when I return."
"Ok no problem, be careful of the pig flu."
"What? "
"The pig."
"The pig? oh the flu, I will. uncle Liu. Thank you uncle Liu, I will go to my midnight dream then."
"Dream? its only 5:57pm?'
"yes uncle, but in America we have deferent time, we are so much behind, but I will get some sleep and catch up with you ok?"
"Dream well."
I tried so hard just want to speak to my mother on the phone, I talked to my sister, my father's wife,every women in my family but not my mom, she is hard to get, funny my mom's charactor, she is wild, and I never really know if she is already married to commerid uncle Liu or not, its a mystry, uncle Liu is from the high rank in the militry, very kind gentle man, but not as tall as handsome like my father, my father looks like hollywood handsome movie star, my mother always say:" Oh uncle Liu, he is my dance partner,lets eat!" How funny is that, my mother is like a child sometimes, me and my sister sometimes standing there watch her like, " who is the mother" ? Sometimes I was calling my mother, but could not get her, then found out from my sister that she went to Russia and Paris, one time she is in Australia, my god, no one travels like her in China, people in mainland China don't travel, they save their money and stay and eat at home, but my mother? always go to the nicest restaurant, she will fly anywhere in the world as she pleases, I love her charactor so much, so free and happy, she speaks her mind but yet she is so intelligent, she teaches comparative of literatraul in one of the best university in China, then she went to japan teaches there in japaness of the same. I remember when I was a child my mother always ask me to turned off the light and go to sleep and its late, she never worried if I did my home work or was any good in school, but I was always the top 3.
In the summer time when we off school in the afternoon, we were kids, we were all so excited and want to go to swim, there is a pool in my mother's university where I grew up, only people who live in the university can go, at that time this is so luxurise, so many of my classmates have not see a pool, but my mother gives me a task after school, she left a note asked me to cut those potatoes into those very thin slices and fry them for dinner, my god, so many little potatoes in front of eyes, they will not listen to me, they run away when I try to cut them, they roll to the floor and hiding under the table, or went outside of the door, I first have to peer them, my god those days I hate potatoes so much, thats why I don't eat them ever and ever, I refuse to. I was so mad and I throw the potatoes the ones won't listen to me out off the window, one by one, only after I was done then realized what if I hit anyone? and i did, we live on the 3rd floor, but who would know where all those little potatoes coming from out of no where suddenly a little potato just hit someone on the eye or their forhead and their nose, thats the off school and off work hour, many people bicycling or by foot walk by, there were 13 potatoes in the air flying just fully ready with anger about to hit anyone who is passing by, one time an uncle from my mother's university come to our house for dinner, who had one eye covered with bad-aid, I was so afraid if it was my potato hit him, in fact i left dinner table pretending my stomic was hurting...........
Anyway then when I finally finishing cutting all those little comrade potatoes of cause that is already few hours later, I rushed to the swimming pool of cause it just closed, I cried so much, but my sister and my brother with their friends are so happy and laughing, but me with those army potatoes, can you imagine?
I still don't know why my mother made me do that.
but one thing I remember my mother told me:
" My little ling, if you have talent persut it, that is your gift, do not just find some rich man get married, but do something, give your gift to the world first ok baby?"
I was always very good at school and school was eazy for me and my mother was never really called to school much eccept when i was late or not answering the teacher's questions. I liked to play with the boys climing trees and breaking someones windows and ascape school playing the games of fighting in a war, I don't like school, every teachers always ask everyone to do and to think and to have the same answer to every questions, has to be the same answer, what if there are more answers, then the teachers will say: " No! You are wrong, little Bailing, just listen to us, we are your teacher, there is only one correct answer!" But in my little head there is this smart little spirit tells me:" No don't listen to them you are right."
But I still love my mom, because she is my mom and she taught me about life, love and the joy of life so much in her own way, she loves life, she laughs all the time, my parents brought us Violin, and I have to practice 2 hours after school, but I never do, I open the window and put the violin on the table but instead doing something eles with a boy, then I will pick up the violin just in time before my mother walks in, because I can hear her loud happy laughter miles away..............thats her spirit, full of happiness life and joy.........
I am calling my mom tonight just to catch her, maybe she is somewhere out dancing and flirt with some boys? I know there are many men after her, but comrade uncle Liu is so firm, he will do anything I mean anything to win my mother, therefor my mother can not run, she is in his hands, but he is gentle and kind, I want them together.
I miss my mom.
Happy mother's day mom.
This is not what I had in mind of writing here today, I was going to share what a beautiful afternoon and evening i had dancing crazy in the beach yesterday, but life take me here and I am very happy about it, hope you enjoyed the story and have a lovely sunday evening.
Golden sunlight is shining on our land and trees and the glass windows and people's faces, feel the tenderness and the gift of nature and life, I am very grateful, grateful to everything, grateful to the life that my mother and my father one night in a magic lovemaking, and here I am, how can I not be thankful?
