I Was there in Kosovo not long ago to film Angelina Jolie's film I think its now called " a place in time", I was asked by her To capture the once bombed and destroyed Roma family and their orphanage children, it was so sad when I think back the images of those children's life there right now, it was extreemly dangerous and hard experience that I have ever had besides my serves as a little soldier in Tibet. I was in Kosovo at first living with the UN based people under the protection of the machine guns, one night I was walking with this young guy who works for the UN, we were away from the base, just while we were crossing the bridge, we Suddenly hear loud gun shots near by, we were terrified, the bridge in which is what connected the north and the south, the young UN guy said: " Bailing we could get shot Right now, because We are visible and walking on the bridge we are not supposed to cross! The north and the south people hate each other, I mean they will shoot each other if you cross to the other side." I was going to run, " no run Bailing!" Suddenly we stoped by 5 French soldiers out of no where they emerged with machine guns in their hands, I was so scared, but we were Lucky they did not shoot us only took my camera away and Shouted at us in Franch, and ordered us to go back, at that time I felt my whole body was on a red high Feaver and I was about to have a heart attack.
One time just before lunch, we were transporting this lady from the south to the north for a meeting for the UN and she was so scared and she coverd herself from the toe to head and she was hiding and lying on the floor in our Van when we were Crossing the bridge, she was keep saying:
" They Are going to shoot me! They are going to shoot me!!!"
At that moment when the soldiers stoped our Van, our hearts were all up to our throats, because by illegal transporting someone from the different side we could All get killed and die at that moment.
On the bridge there are French soldiers American soldiers, at one time they had 75 different country's army soldiers there on the bridge, you never know who is who and who is going to Do what. it was so scary when the bullets fly above my head, it was so scary When this lady lying by my feet and could get us all killed if she made any noise.
I went to all the little towns and cities there in Kosovo including Mitrovica and more along the beautiful mountain ranges , I have noticed, even the nature there is More quite than in the rest of the World, air is so tight there, I feel like if I Just light a match then it will set fire in the entire City, sad souls flying in the air, you can see the hunger the poverty and the terrified fear through the eyes of the local people, and also reflacted in those innocent orphanage children's eyes like a sad Painting. it was so so sad and hopeless...... and they all have nothing to hold on to!
"I am so glad that you are doing this with me, where do you want to go Bailing?" Angelina asked me:
" Send me to the most dangerous place that no nobody wants to go."I replayed.
When we decided I am going to Kosovo, she called Me:
" Bailing you have no idea, just the fact that you are there alone is so powerful for people to see, thank you! "
The fact is that I will do anything for her.
The night I arrived I have lost my luggage in the airport, and that was it in the darkneas of the cold windy night, I entred the lonely land of Kosovo. I wonderd on the streets for about 2 weeks and talked to the local people and had nightmares all the nights when I left the UN base and slept in different small local hotel and motle rooms, I was the only girl there.
I had a little local love afair with a handsome young man there, I met him in a club where I was not supposed to be in, I talked my way through the door because I was so curious and want to feel the local life, but all I saw was the hungry eyes of the local men, I did not find any body looked Like me there, not at all, just when I suddenly feel the danger, just when all the local hungry men's eyes in the club all come to me, he rescued me, for some reason I felt his protection for me from the locals. I left him in the end with out him knowing that was our last breakfast together, I did not say good bye to him because I couldn't. He rushed to the train station but could not get in, I saw his sad and angry face fade away just like in movies.
But I will never forget the fear and the sadness and the light of hope is that strongly inked in a man's eyes and also that vulnerable like the hopeless sunset, and it is also the same in this 95 years old grandmother's deep wounded eyes, how can I ever forget her, her tears and her warm heart and her lonely ending life and the smoke that sweetly slowly florting like a ghost`s dance skirt from the coffee she made for me.
I was walking on the street after the sunset one evening in the cold, white snow just landed like the soft music from above, I saw there stands this little tiny old lady alone in the lost intersetion, she looked at me, for some reason my heart just went to her, she hold my left hand so tight as if I was her long lost grand daughter, she took me to her little half opend room on the side walk of the street, she had nothing there and she was trying to make me a cup of coffee, I helped her, then we set on her little bed and she once again hold my left hand so tight and cried all the way while she was telling me her story and how sad it is that her family was divided forever and she has no home and nobody left to look after her......
Please have no war in Kosoco! No war anywhere!!! because people's life is already in deep danger and sorrow!
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